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His voice broke. His mouth covered hers and he groaned as her hands slid hungrily down his back to
the base of his spine. He moved, and she moved with him, in a rhythm that was terrible in its slow,
sweet intensity. She sobbed, clung, as they drifted into realms they'd never touched before. It was so
slow that she began to cry out as she tried to get closer to him and knew that she could never get as
close as she wanted, needed, to get...!
She cried out, her voice throbbing in time with his as the deep, tearing spasms caught them both. He
stilled, but his body didn't, couldn't. He shuddered and his voice broke on her name as he gave in to
the red waves that scalded him.
Tabby cried for a long time afterward. She wouldn't let him go, cradling him to her, savoring the heat
and dampness and even the weight of his powerful body in the aftermath.
"I thought I might die," she whispered unsteadily, staring over his shoulder at the ceiling.
"Now you know why the French call it the little death," he said quietly. He lifted his head, searching
her wide eyes. He kissed her eyelids, rubbing the tip of his tongue against the spiky wetness of her
thick dark lashes. 'This is profound," he whispered. "I never realized that it could be like this with
someone."
She opened her eyes. "You were experienced," she began, surprised.
"I never loved anyone until now," he said simply. "With you, it's...more spiritual than physical. I loved
you. You loved me. It was a physical expression of something intangible." He touched her face in
wonder. "I remember thinking I was going to die trying to get closer to you. Even...that close...wasn't
enough."
"Yes," she said, her face mirroring her own awe. "I know."
He drew in a breath and laughed unsteadily. "And this is only the beginning," he said, shivering.
He was afraid! She read that in his face. She touched him gently. "It's all right," she said softly. "I'll
never leave you. I'll love you until I die."
He stiffened and his face went taut. And then she knew.
She reached up and kissed him, kissed his eyelids, his cheeks, his nose, his chin. She kissed his mouth
with soft reassurance. "I'm not going to do anything foolhardy and get myself shot, you know, she
whispered.
He made a sound that barely registered, and his arms became bruising, painful as he held her with
something bordering on desperation. "If I lose you, I'll die," he choked.
"Oh, my darling, you're not going to lose me!" she cried, her body trembling as she realized just how
deeply he did care for her. "Never, never...Nick, love me...!"
She kissed him, moving her hips under him, arousing him to a sudden, violent frenzy. He lost control
and took her with such raging need that she found her satisfaction almost at once, and then again and
again until his powerful body shuddered into completion.
He cursed viciously as he convulsed, his neck corded, his body lifted above hers so that she could
watch him. He felt her eyes and then he went actually unconscious for a space of seconds in a
blackness of tearing, unbearable pleasure.
She was bending over him, concerned. "Nick?" she whispered worriedly, touching his face with hands
that trembled. "Oh, Nick, darling, are you all right?"
His eyes opened. His face was very pale, his body trembling with the strain it had been under. "I tried
not to feel like this," he whispered.
"Yes. I know." She bent and smiled as she kissed his eyelids, his mouth. "I love you so much," she
choked, her voice full of tears. "I was dying because you didn't want me...!"
He groaned and pulled her down to him, kissing her with feverish emotion. "I love you. I always did.
But I was so afraid. You see how it is now, don't you?" he asked bitterly, laughing at his own
helplessness. "I let you watch me, because I wanted you to have it all. I'd do anything for you. God,
you own me now!"
He seemed shattered by the knowledge that he was helpless when he was with her, as if it made him
feel less than a man. She couldn't have that.
She laid her cheek on his chest. "When you're rested," she whispered, "we'll do that again. And this
time, you can watch me. Maybe if you see that I'm as totally at your mercy as you just were at mine,
you'll realize that what we feel for each other is mutual. There's nothing shameful about it, nothing
demeaning." She smiled. "Nick, love is like that. It overpowers, owns. But I can't gloat. I'm only happy
that you care so much. I'll never, never make you sorry that you do. I promise."
He began to breathe normally, his moment of weakness slowly passing. He stroked her long hair
softly and his body began to relax. "Is it like that for you?" he asked softly. "Do you come close to
unconsciousness when I satisfy you?"
"Of course!" She lifted her head and looked down at him curiously. "Didn't you realize?"
"I haven't been able to watch you," he said quietly. "I was too far gone."
She smiled. "Next time, then," she whispered.
His eyes softened. "If I can control myself that long," he said with black humor.
"We've got all our lives," she told him. "All the rest of our lives to feel and share and love and be
together. Risk everything, Nick," she whispered. "That's the only way to really love."
"Yes," he replied, and his eyes kindled. "I suppose it is." He searched her face. His lean hands caught
her bare waist and lifted her to lie on him. "I've been running. If I let myself care, I knew it would be
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